who runs the world?

so basically the new beyonce video for Run The World (Girls) just came out and it breathes fire like a hot sexy jay z-dating dragon. while it is so upsetting to me that beyonce is actually a real life bore, old ass 89 year old lady in a young person's hot body, and while this song is not something that i am going to be able to jiggle my ass to for the next couple months (it has the shelf life of about a week or so before i want to kill myself at how many times they are going to reuse pon de floor), the video is, in all seriousness, amazing. lets dissect -

1) usually i don't know how i would feel about so much chicken flapping but B (and her dancers) are totally dropping down and getting their eagle on and it looks great. cuz why wouldnt that happen in a futuristic zoolander style dance off in the desert under a traffic underpass?
2) this shit is all about the accessories. you know, crazy faux steel mani claws, mirrored shoes, and hyenas on leashes. don't know about y'all but i'm about to get some hyenas on chain leashes and walk them thangs up and down the street in jogging shorts like they're my pets. only the baddest bitches have scavenger flesh-eating animals as pets.
3) wasn't sure if you were aware, but beyonce doesn't give a fuck about getting dirty - that bitch wears all white errrthang while she rides a hose through sand. real tawk, she was on her period too.
4) fuck the oscars and anne hathaway, beyonce has about 50 wardrobe changes in a 5 minute video just because she feels like it. while you may not be sure how that plays into her group of nazi-resembling femme fatales who live in this envoy in the middle of nowhere in "the book of eli" era america, that's simply because you are not on B's LVLZ.
5)...i'm going to end this post now because after watching this video i feel compelled to go thigh master my ass into a frenzy. while her thighs are probably more cellulite ridden then they let on, and while we know shes wearing sheer tights in a HOOTERS girl attempt to look firm, guess what - BITCH LOOKS FIRM. BRB THIGH MASTER-ING.